The series continues….
Sometimes I will forget I’m in a bookstore when I’m browsing through the shelves of books. I can blame my forgetfulness on the strong book smell the old store gives off – which appears to never leave me alone – and how the space becomes more narrow and the roof begins to shrink and it becomes almost within reach of touching my head as I walk towards the back of the place, causing me to recall my visit to an old basement, an attic, or a garage space. Even the slight creek under the rugged floor of the place, as I pace myself through the passage of the book shelf, doesn’t help to conceal the memories I’ve thought been lost long ago somewhere in the back of my head. And what also re-surfaces in my conscious memory, as it appears to have been etched there from my unconscious memory, is the goosebumps I feel on my skin, when I start to take notice of the familiar cool quite damp smell the book store gives off as I reach the back of the dark areas. It isn’t like I’m afraid of the dark or perhaps allowing my child-like imagination getting the best of me in this particular situation, but rather, this moment where I have reached the near end of the book store’s passage, I begin to remember something vaguely in my conscious memory as if I’ve been to this place before – before my actual first visit to the book store. Although I’m trying to recall a particular moment in my conscious memory from the unconscious memory, I can only recall these senses: cool damp-like air, darkness, smell of old paper books – somehow they represent a fragment of my unconscious memory of my early childhood of being away from home and perhaps the idea of wanting to visit the desire to acquire some sort of exotic adventure. This mere moment of deju ve does put myself into a position of questioning the complexity of how the mind, or particular, how my mind works in this specific situation where I’m given time to collect and reflect on my thoughts as I recall my emotional states.
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